Walk on the Wacky Side - A Guide to Offbeat Los Angeles

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People who live in Los Angeles have a saying that accurately describes their fine city. It's a short phrase that roughly aways begins and ends with a resigned type of sigh: "only in L.A." Meaning that whatever is being discussed, it's too weird to be true -- except that in Los Angeles, that "whatever" occurs every day.

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Los Angeles is strongly influenced by the film industry, so that's where we'll begin our tour of the weird, wacky oddities that are found throughout this great city.

Hollywood Forever is a unique aggregate composed of equal parts mortuary and cemetery. Many entertainment celebrities are interred there, and the company takes great pride in providing unusual amenities. For example, its funeral chapel is adequate for live worldwide webcasts of funeral services. But that's not the strangest thing about this place. If you visit Hollywood Forever on a warm summer night, come armed with lawn chairs, food and wine, because you'll be able to catch superior movies while you're there. That's odd sufficient for a cemetery, but what makes it in fact wacky? Well, the films are projected onto the wall of Rudolph Valentino's tomb. It's probably intended as a tribute to the cemetery's paramount inhabitants, but to non-Angelenos, it's all more than just a bit macabre. Only in L.A.

And speaking of macabre, the Los Angeles Coroner's Office runs a gift shop. It's called Skeletons in the Closet and it specializes in things like beach towels, mugs, and toe tag keychains, many of which carry a logo that's the shape of a body. It even sells a garment bag that's designed to look like a body bag.

What comes next on our tour seems tame after that, but if these tamer places were everywhere else they'd roughly be shocking. In Los Angeles they're just part of everyday life.

Venice began as a seaside amusement park, but today, the boardwalk features an odd, eclectic mix of road performers, body-builders and fortune-tellers on display. Not so unusual, until you see what the performers do: one dances barefoot on glass, an additional one juggles chainsaws, while still an additional one balances bikini-clad women on his chin. And the musclemen there have bodies that are beyond compare. This is urban theater at its best, but it's quirky.

Los Angeles is a city of celebrities, and Tess at the California Science town is one of them. The thing is, this celebrity isn't alive, she's a 50-foot animatronic woman with illustrated organs. You might see celebrities of the live range while cruising one of the exclusive shopping areas in Beverly Hills. But you're just as likely to run into costumed celebrity impersonators in any areas of the city, including along Hollywood Boulevard.

The La Brea Tar Pits aren't weird, wacky or quirky, but it's in fact unusual to find such a place in the middle of a big city. Their urban location doesn't slow down the gooey asphalt and smelly methane that bubbles up out of the earth. Every so often this tarry mess includes the fossils of prehistoric animals, many of which are now extinct.

Offbeat is a good word to reveal the Museum of Jurassic Technology. But this place also qualifies for weird, wacky and quirky. The museum's exhibits contain representations of teleporting bats, horned humans and Cameroon's Stink Ant. But it also includes collections of art relating to trailer park culture and a tribute to Soviet space dogs. It's half-science, half-silly and 100 percent outrageous. Only in L.A.

Watts Towers are a National Historic Landmark. That designation usually means that the structure are something special. Well, they are, but not in the usual sort of way. This is Los Angeles, after all. There are 17 hand-built towers in this complex, all made of tiles, mosaics, small glass circles and scrap steel, with scrap rebar for reinforcement. These peculiar towers are decorated with things the manufacturer found -- including bits of scrap metal, sea shells and bed frames. The glass circles in the towers have an tantalizing source: the blue circles are the bottoms of Milk of Magnesia bottles, while the green ones are from discrete brands of soft drink bottles. Two of the towers are 99 feet high.

This weird and wacky tour could go on and on. Ripley's Believe it or Not Odditorium, turtle racing at Brennan's Irish pub, the Bunny Museum and its quirky cousin the Banana Museum -- they all fit right in. But only in L.A.

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